So many fears coming up for me…

3 more weeks until my new podcast comes out, and right now I feel like this…

We're working on finalizing intro song, podcast cover art revisions, booking interviews, recording episodes. The list feels endless.

The other day, someone said they couldn't imagine me being apprehensive about launching my podcast.

My response… “I know it seems like I wouldn't be apprehensive. But I promise I'm freaking out every step of the way.”

I had lunch with my friend Amy Ahlers last week, and she asked me, “what are you afraid of?”

FEAR OF REJECTION

I've been hesitating to invite my first person to be a guest on the show. What if they say no? What will I make that mean about me and about my show? It took me over a week to send the email invitation. Amy stood over my shoulder to watch me finally hit send for accountability. My first guest invite responded YES in less than 30 minutes.

#IfYouDontAskTheAnswerWillAlwaysBeNo

FEAR OF DOING IT WRONG

I realize I have a high value for excellence (perfect recipe for perfectionism + procrastination to hang out). And I'm choosing to get started when I know I don't have the best equipment, or the best room to record in (my kitchen table with a dog who may bark in the background).

I'm also still trying to figure out what I want to really, really say. I can talk about a lot of topics and interview a lot of people, but I always have a fear, “I'll get it wrong” –– that good student syndrome stays with you way beyond school years.

FEAR OF CRITICISM

I'm afraid of criticism of production quality, criticism of conversations that might not be what people were hoping or expecting.

And when you've reached a certain level of public success, I feel people expect a certain level of quality that is not always easy to deliver right out the gate when you're trying something new for the first time.

FEAR OF LETTING PEOPLE DOWN

Once you announce something to the world, the anticipation of what's to come is exciting. Like when you're so excited about seeing a movie, but then you finally watch it and leave the theatre feeling disappointed.

I fear that people are looking forward to the podcast, will listen, and may feel like they wasted their time. I know I can't control people's reactions, but it's still a big fear I'll let people down.

EMBRACE A BEGINNER'S MIND

I had a conversation with my 10 year old daughter the other night. She said she wished she was more brave because she stops herself from doing things because of what other people might think.

I told her she's not alone. Adults feel the same way when they're putting themselves out there for the world to judge and criticize.

We watched this video about The Gap by Ira Glass.

THE GAP by Ira Glass from Daniel Sax on Vimeo.

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap…” –– Ira Glass

I know my confidence will come with time and experimentation. Each podcast episode, I will get feedback and learn what works and what doesn't work. So for now, I have to be okay with being at the beginning where I'll still be exploring my voice for solo episodes and my comfort and ease in conversations with guests.

To being BRAVE even when there's FEAR. 💖

Warm hugs,